Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Chapter 14 : Kingdom

"Have you written anything lately?", she asked.
We met by chance on the street, around one in the morning.
I didn't go out on Friday, didn't feel like it, but today I felt like going for a walk, to think, to chill a bit.
"Not lately, no", I admitted. "The last thing I tried to write was a short but serious attempt at autobiographical fiction. I tried to create analogies between what I wrote and songs I liked, but sometimes I just struggled. I didn't write much, and gave up soon afterwards."
"Didn't you have like two hundred and something pages of a book written? Whatever happened to those?", she asked.

"Ah", I sighed, "Two hundred and something pages of drivel, that's what it was. No good came out of it. It did teach me what not to write, though."
"That's good. You know as well as I do that any lesson learned is a positive thing. But what drove you to write something autobiographical?", she enquired.
I thought for a few moments, then answered, "Absolution. Exorcism, maybe. I had to take some things out of me. Too many demons. It was everything I didn't say since...", I stopped, suddenly sick in my heart.
"Since me.", you said. "Good for you. It's always good for us to say what we feel, though not always we express it or show how we feel."

Some days I just don't understand people. Why the hell are they looking at me?
A stupid thought goes through my mind : do I have anything in my face?
A quick glance in a window denies that possibility.

"Let’s drink something", I said. "There's a place around the corner that has great teas. Ok?"
We walked for a few minute more, and when we got there, we could only get a place in one of the back rooms.
This place is something magical, timeless, wonderful.
What with me having been there quite a few times, I already knew what I wanted, and I called for one of the waiters.
"I'm going to have a Japanese cherry tea. You?", I asked.
The waiter stared at me as if he was somehow lost, somewhat disoriented.
For a minute there, I thought I had spoken in another language.
"Nothing for me", you replied.

Right beside us, a couple was playing pool, and the guy was so good at it, that he almost beheaded a priceless statue of Hindi goddess Kali, when a stray ball flew halfway through the room.
"I had a dream with you a while ago, " you said. "In my dream, you were a mighty warrior, ever seeking for the ultimate enlightenment, seeking perfection."
"By contrast, I was someone very frail, but supremely wise, and held the key to the door that leads you to the cradle of sapience."
"You found me by a tree, near an abandoned temple, deep in thought, and prayer."
"You were wearing a magnificent battle armour, and a beautiful and deadly sword that was called 'Winter'. You unsheathed it, and asked me, 'Who is the master of the use of the sword?' "

A few feet away from me lay a stone. I commanded you to call it names.
"No", you said, "for the stone will never reply."
"Then attack it", I suggested. "Use your sword."
"I will not", you stubbornly said, "For even if eventually I may damage the stone, the blade will be ruined long before that, and should I attack with my bare hands or feet, I would only succeed in hurting myself."
"Who is the master of the use of the sword?", you repeated

A small bird flew by, and perched atop of me.
In the midst of birdsong, finally I opened my eyes.
"Pay attention, noble warrior. Heed me, and heed me well. Who is the master of the use of the sword, you ask."
"And the answer is : he who is like a stone."
"Without ever unsheathing his sword, he shows that he is truly invincible."

I was speechless for a few seconds. Numb, incapable of any reaction. Then I said, smiling slightly, "I liked that story. I would like to write it down, one day. And I know, don't ask me why, that when I write, I'll write about this moment."

The couple playing pool said something that I couldn't catch, but I knew that it was about me.
The girl looked at me and laughed.
Yes, I'm pretty, I know that.
I considered throwing her a kiss, but perhaps it was wise that i didn't.
"Look, I'm gonna get the check, and then we go?", I asked.
"Suit yourself", you said.

The waiter came with the check, and I took out my wallet. I searched my pockets to see what change I had, and asked, "You wouldn't happen to have two euros with you, would you? Only I forgot to get some more cash..."

"Sir", the waiter said, "you must forgive me but... are you feeling alright? It's just that for the past hour or so, you've been having talking to someone who isn't here... You are alone here, sir. You are all alone."


"And then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun
and the way that gravity pulls on everyone..."

Embrace, Gravity

2 comments:

Cristina said...

Sorry... i'm simply wordless... needing and waiting for more...

Ad Astra said...

More on the way!

Keep reading!