Chapter 10 : No surprises

"I'd take a quiet life, a handshake of carbon monoxide
no alarms and no surprises..."

Radiohead, No surprises

I

She:
"I'm so tired of this crap, you know? And it's not like I'm tired in my body, or even tired in my head... I feel tired inside my soul. I'm tired of living. Tired of this life. My life."
"And I am tired of you, and everything you don't give me. Just one person fighting for something is not enough... it's too hard, and I don't have the strength in me to fight for this anymore."
"Why? Why did you tell me all that? You promised me so much... and after all, it was all empty lies."
"And the worst part is I believed in every single one of them. And that hurts so very much."

"Your pain is not love."

HIM, The Heartless



II

She, again (and a few months later):
"The funny thing is that I felt so good. All this time without seeing you... You can't even begin to imagine, but i felt happy once more. I felt capable of everything. I felt complete, whole..."
"And out of nowhere, here you are in my life again."
"This world is really a small one, and cruel as well, because I would have died happy if I never saw you again. But here you are, and them's are the breaks for us."

"I realized that I had been lying to myself then, because I see now that nothing was as I had seen it. Because you are you, right? And you are unique. There's no one quite like you."
"And what you made me feel... trust me, no one before or after you made me feel something like that."
"Believe me, there have been a few after you. Too many, perhaps. Somewhere along the way I just stopped caring. But there was none like you... Never like you. Sometimes it feels that I had to go through a lifetime of loneliness just to meet you, to lose myself in you, and to be destroyed by you."
"But here you are, and them's are the breaks for you and for me."
"So, what do you want? No, don't even bother. I know the answer. I have always known, I guess.
But it's not in your hands anymore. It's in mine."
"Now I will forget you. Because I look at you and I can't imagine what I ever saw in you. Because I look at you and I know exactly what I saw in you."
"Because forgetting you will be what's best for me. I know one day I will wake up and I won't think of you. One of these nights I'll stop crying myself to sleep from thinking so much about you."
"Because I can't love anymore. And most of all, because I will love you forever."

"I know, my love, this is not the only story we can tell
this pain won't last forever... this pain won't last forever!"

Bloc Party, Two more years


III

He (a long time ago, in a galaxy far away...):
"I'm gonna tell you why you'll always be mine."
"Shortly after we met, there was a day when we went for a walk in the park, and after a while we sat on a bench. I looked at you for entire ages of man."
"Right then and there, I wanted nothing more than to kiss you. To hold you. I knew in my heart of hearts that I loved you."
"You know what that was? It was a perfect moment my love. A moment when seconds become centuries, where we walk hand in hand through entire generations, through infinite fields, through endless constellations, past white shores, far farther than the eye can see..."
"And that is where I long to be, with you. In an endless, timeless, eternal perfect moment."
"The centuries will beat in vain, my love."
"So this I swear : nothing or no-one can tear us apart."
"I will always be yours."


"If you were the road, I'd go all the way,
If you were the day, I'd cry in the night.
If you were the night, I'd sleep in the day.
Because you are the way, the truth and the light."

The Divine Comedy, If